Two Foxes and a Roach
by Romance O.E.M
Summary: A hilarious rewrite of the chapter "The Roach and the Fox" with oddities you'd never expected. Such as: what exactly do foxes do it the forest? What happens when a roach has an itch? Why is Chaddick mad?
1. CH 1 - Triple Date

**This is my first official _School for Good and Evil_ fan fiction. This one was based off the chapter, _The Roach and the Fox,_ and wanted to play with the unusualness that chapter itself could have lead to. This is not meant to offend or upset people. Its purely for comedic purposes and I advise anyone to sit back and have a good laugh. Please enjoy.**

 **..: Two Foxes and a Roach :..**

 _Wolves don't like foxes. Blue Brook at midnight. T._

That's what the note said. Sophie waltz around the empty room, dancing with the note as if it were Tedros himself. Finally, she will have her prince, like she always dreamed of.

The clock was ticking closer to midnight, yet Sophie was fitting into her black dress and admiring herself in the mirror. Agatha arrived to witness her friend lovestruck at her own reflection and lambasted her friend for procrastinating.

Agatha pressured her to go nude as clothes will be of no use during Mogrification. With a simple and rushed lesson, Sophie was able to form herself to a beautiful pink fox with sparkling fur.

With roach Agatha hiding in Sophie's furry nape, the two journeyed to the _Blue Brook,_ terrifying wolves on the way there. One wolf threw an ax at Sophie the Fox before jotting away and screaming like a little girl.

"You said they wouldn't bother me," Sophie panted, barely dodging her own decapitation.

"And I told you to avoid them just in case." Agatha retorted.

As they rushed out of the tunnel and arrived to the open clearing, Sophie glimpse at the moon above. This was a beautiful night for a kiss. She spotted the safe entrance to the forest and dashed for her true love.

Roach Agatha held on to Sophie's mane tightly, like a jockey grasping the reins of her horse. All Agatha needed was a whip. So she improvised. She kicked her prickly legs at Sophie's back.

"Ow!"

"Faster!" Agatha chirped.

"Stop that!" cried Sophie, but she continued to get lashes from the disgusting cockroach.

Admittedly, Agatha was having a lot of fun until she notice a warm wet feeling on her roachy leg.

"Oops."

" _Oops?_ What _Oops?_ Sophie asked, "What happened?"

"N—nothing." Agatha couldn't bring herself to tell her all that prodding had made Sophie bleed.

Sophie finally arrived. The blue forest gleamed under the vast moon, dots of lights sprinkled deep within the tree lines. The smell of dew was like natures perfume once you stop to notice. And the cool gentle air brushed through Sophie's gorgeous pink fur.

Her heart pounding like pistons. Her back in such pain, it felt like it may have been bleeding. Every time Sophie brought it up, Agatha would reply like a broken record.

"Everything is fine; everything is fine!"

Sophie took cautionary steps to the bridge, peering near and afar for any sign of Tedros.

"I don't see him," Sophie said.

"His note said he'd be here!" Agatha whispered, she too scanning the scene.

"Suppose Hester and Anadil played a trick." Sophie whisper to the roach. If that were the case, then what could she do? She had suspected the two roommates of her's may be secret lovers and you couldn't put it pass Sophie to tell the whole School of Evil. In fact, Evers should have the right to know as well.

"Who are you talking to?" came a voice.

The two girls jumped an inch. Sophie's fur flared and could have sworn she heard the roach on her back give out a whistling fart.

In the woods, deep blue eyes peered back at Sophie. Tedros gently stepped out into the moon light and he too a fox, only with fur of navy blue.

" _Say something!"_ Agatha whispered with a quick punt, accidentally jabbing Sophie's fresh scar. Sophie completely petrified in place, snapped out of her tomb.

Tedros patiently walked across and on to the bridge where she stood.

"Um—uh . . . " Sophie began, but no words came out.

" _I talk to myself when I'm nervous,"_ Agatha whispered into Sophie's ears.

"I—I talk to myself when I'm nervous," Sophie replied, her eyes locked to his and his to hers. A tad shaky.

"I thought only princesses get nervous." He said. "Not the best villain in school."

" _O_ _nly the best Good can disguise as Evil,"_ Agatha went on. _"Especially when it has love to fight for."_

"O—only the best Good can disguise as Evil," Sophie tried mimicking. "Especially when it is love they fight for."

"So it really was a mistake all along?" Tedros smiled in relief. He came in much closer.

" _I had to play both sides in order to survive,"_ Agatha continued.

"I played . . . both sides just to survive." Sophie repeated, her voice timid.

Agatha's jimmies were tingling. This was just like all those exotic stories she wrote, but Sophie was close to ruining it. She could feel Sophie's nerves rattle, worried she would possibly fumble her lines. She wasn't surprise that she didn't repeat exactly what she said but Sophie was doing okay so far.

"Now, according to the Prince Code, I have a promise to fulfill." Tedros stated, he moved closer to Sophie, looking deep into her green eyes. "What would you like me to ask you?"

The girls froze. _What do you ask a prince to ask you?_

" _Do you see who I am now?"_ Agatha spat, now wanting to punch herself.

"Do you see who I am now?" Sophie repeated.

"You do know this will throw both schools into upheaval?" Tedros said calmly in barely a whisper. He gave Sophie a heartfelt smirk. Her heart pounding so furiously that it hurt.

" _I do."_

"I . . . I do."

"You do know you will spend the rest of your life trying to prove you're Good?"

" _I do."_

". . . Yes."

 _Dammit Sophie!_

Tedros eyed the pink fox and smiled. He came in closer and pressed his chest to hers. A bone of some part of Tedros' fox anatomy prodded her throat painfully.

"And you know I'm going to kiss you now?"

The two girls gasped. Agatha in surprise. Sophie after Tedros neck bone jabbed her.

Tedros lowered his face to Sophie's; nose barely touching. She could feel the warmth in his breath. The smell of fresh grass.

 _Tedros eats grass?_

Agatha madly flicked her antennae in excitement. They were finally going to go home. Part of her wanted to watch for some reason, but she respected Sophie enough to give her friend some privacy. So she kept watching.

Sophie was going to get her prince. One kiss was all she needed. However, this sacred moment wouldn't be without consequences. The plan after all was for Sophie to kiss her prince so she can prove she can _love_. To prove she was not a Never, but an Ever. To prove the School Master was ill informed. But a kiss that will take she and Agatha home . . . _without_ her prince.

"But we should wait," Sophie said. Her voice strain.

Agatha's antennae stopped. Her large bug eyes widen in disbelief.

Sophie calmly backed away from a disappointed Tedros. His eyes sad, her's guilty. Agatha's cross-eyed in fury.

"Sure. Course, Obviously," Tedros murmured. He seemed unsure what else to do at this point. Agatha noticed his glossy eyes swell with tears after Sophie's rejection. It made Agatha almost feel sorry for him.

 _Almost._

"I'll, um, walk you to your tunnel."

"No!"

Tedros and Agatha jumped in surprise.

"I know . . . I know this may sound odd." Sophie paused, thinking for the right words to say. "But there is another . . . way to show our love."

 _Uh oh._

Agatha trembled in her exoskeleton.

Sophie came in closer to Tedros, whom seemed unsure what was going on. She brushed herself under his blue furry chin and gently whipped his face with her bushy tail.

Tedros' heart began to rapid further as Sophie returned for another stroke. He took one look down at Sophie's gentle body as she passed.

Worried, Agatha glimpsed up at Tedros the Fox. He was staring down at her. Both their eyes bulged in shock.

"Sophie!" He yelped loudly.

Startled, the pink fox whipped around.

Agatha took her chances. She crawled further from Sophie's back and down to latch on her furry chest to avoid Tedros' field of vision.

"What!?" Sophie said, worried Tedros may have spotted Agatha.

"Y—you're _bleeding!_ "

" _What!?"_ Sophie wailed, turning her head to spot the mark of blood but she couldn't see her entire back.

"It doesn't look too bad," Tedros said. Getting a closer look.

"Oh . . . I—I must've gotten it from the branch back in the forest." Sophie lied. She tried to get a good glimpse of Tedros who was still examining the wound. "It's not bad is it—"

Sophie stopped.

Something warm and moist had grazed across her scab. Her prince aided her by licking the blood off her beautiful pink fur. Sophie wasn't sure what to make of this. He was helping her; but was it something more? It felt sort of nice. Sophie looked ahead and allowed the gentle bathing. Each new stroke more moist and warmer than the last.

Agatha on the other hand was in panic-mode. For a second, she thought her cover was blown. Now she knew making Sophie bleed was probably going to be a useful _deus ex machina_ for the Storian one day.

Giggles above Agatha brought her back.

 _They better be ready to kiss, dammit._

Agatha sighed in frustration. She couldn't believe it. She should have known Sophie would try to prolong her shenanigans. Now here she was, moping upside-down in place as Sophie's body shimmy side to side, waiting for these stupid dogs to kiss—

 _What the hell is going on?_

Something caught Agatha's attention. She ascended her head from Sophie's furry chest. She wished she hadn't because now she couldn't look away. Her eyes swelled as something uncanny swayed from in-between Tedros legs. It was red, long and glisten in the moon light.

 _WHY!?_

Agatha wanted to kill herself. She wrote erotic stories all the time back at her graveyard but never about stuff like this. That's not how she rolled. The damn circumstances she found herself in is astounding to say the least.

Without warning, Agatha suddenly felt her whole body turn as if the world had topple over. Sophie flipped on her back, her chest up and Agatha now on top looking out at Tedros' foxy face and his . . . _junk_ . . . raising over like a blimp in the open sky.

 _OH SHI—_

Tedros and Sophie where doing more than the pokey and Agatha stood hidden in Sophie's fur, shocked and disgusted at what she was witnessing.

 _Doesn't this count as true love!?_ Agatha thought to herself. _Why aren't we home yet?_

Well you see, kids, when mom and dad are in love, they prefer to express that love in ways that may seem alien to you. Often times you may hear about couples hugging or kissing, but in private when mom and dad are alone, they do something called sex. That's when hugging and kissing escalates to something special. Now does that mean sex equates to love? Not quite. Two people don't necessarily need to be in love or even married to perform sex. This is often times referred to as a _fling_ or a _one-night-stand_. One example of said _flings_ can come from a multitude of stories Agatha herself has written. These flings are what Agatha likes to call, _hate-sex,_ starring herself and Tedros—

"No! BE QUIET!" Agatha blurted.

"Huh! Who said that?" Tedros sputtered, gasping for air after numerous pelvic thrusting. His eyes bugging out of another daydream of him having hate-sex with Agatha.

Agatha quickly _fleaing_ through Sophie's fur and whispered into her ear.

"Uh, that was me . . . " Sophie repeated. Her cheeks flushed at the sight of her prince.

"Oh . . . okay, Agatha." Tedros said.

Sophie and Agatha both did a double take, staring back at Tedros. Agatha's eyes watered like a sad puppy who aways wanted to be loved.

"W—What did you call me?" Sophie spat, ignoring Agatha's sniffles.

"I—I said I'm . . . I'm _coming_." Tedros quickly shrift his thoughts. He couldn't believe he was thinking of having sex with Agatha, but he didn't need to, especially when he was actually deflowering a beautiful princess instead. He looked down at his true love—Tedros soul darkened.

 _I'M HAVING SEX WITH A FOX!_ Tedros said to himself. _No wonder I'm thinking about that wretched witch._

His man-hood gave a violet twitch. Reality hit Tedros common senses and knew he needed to evacuate. He pulled straight out of Sophie and with a gruff and a wail, a flow of white liquid streamed and steamed from his _wand_ and all over Sophie.

Agatha, who popped her head up to see what the commotion was about, took an unexpected amount of warm ooze herself. Agatha was flung off of Sophie and on to the bridge, sticky and wet.

 _Gross._

Agatha was stuck on her back. Covered in a blanket of fox milk, she couldn't break herself free either. She looked up at the spurring rainbow mesh foxes. Tedros had turned around and lowered himself. Sophie taking in his prince's red meat in her mouth while Tedros aimed his tongue in-between Sophie's legs.

Agatha needed to stop this. They can turn back to humans again at any moment. If that happens, than the author will run out of safe words for penis.

She tried with all her roachy powers to escape the pasty residue but it wouldn't budge. This stuff was thick. Clearly Tedros didn't drink enough water. She had no other choice. Agatha decided it was all she had left . . . she has to eat it.

Quickly and repulsively, Agatha ate up everything Tedros left on her. She gagged a few times before coming to a strange realization.

"This isn't bad at all, actually." Agatha muttered to herself. However, she wasn't sure if it was her cockroach instinct that was telling her this or maybe this stuff really was—dare she say— _tasty_.

Quite possibly her cockroach instinct, but that didn't matter. Agatha admire the taste. It was unique. But it did something to her. It was like a light switch in Agatha's heart that finally manage to be tapped.

Agatha no longer cared about Sophie kissing her prince and having her happy ending; she was being a Wisenheimer anyhow. It was Sophie's fault for attempting to prolong this charade. Her fault for not taking her prince—granted, she would have lost him soon after, but that was beside the point. Sophie strayed from their agreement:

Kiss him and go home.

Sophie had her chance and she broke it. Now this was Agatha's time. She decided to take charge of this whole dysfunctional mess and claim ownership. Tedros will be her's now. Sophie will just have to deal with it.

She guzzled the final strand of semen left, flexed her puny muscles and pounced back to stab Sophie's foxy nose.

"Mmphh!" Sophie's muffle a scream. Agatha continued to prod her nose until Sophie's mouth finally released her prince. " _What are you—?_ "

"You're done here; this is mine now." Agatha whispered furiously and glazed her now prince with her roachy tongue. Sophie gaped at Agatha in disbelief.

"But _—_ No _,_ stop that! _"_ Sophie desperately pushed Agatha away with her nose but Agatha hopped back on. _"_ Leave him alone _,_ he _'_ s my prince!"

"He called _my_ name _,_ not yours!" Agatha angrily hissed. She hugged onto Tedros jewels and caressed them with her face. Sophie grew angry and snarled at her back stabbing friend.

Unaware his princess and a roach gone rogue were fighting over their share of his penis, Tedros took the liberty to gently press his entire fox snout into Sophie's vagina. Deep in the depths of her love canal, Tedros lathered his tongue around, taking in all the secretion he could. Like an anteater feasting, only instead of fire ants, Tedros used his tongue to scoop eggs out of her uterus.

Sophie moaned out loud. Her voice ringing out to the beautiful night, letting all to know she _could_ love just like any other princess. Proving, in fact, that she was a true Ever because Nevers cannot love at all.

Agatha, of course, knew that was bullshit.

* * *

At the School for Good, Chaddick jumped to the window, his drenched packs exposed to the open cool air with only his blanket draping his shoulders. He was panting like he ran a mile. He clapped his hands over his ears, his face in shear annoyance. He looked out to the blue forest. Loud passionate whines and moans of a fox echoed all across the night sky; a sound that gave him such a deep headache.

"SHUT UP!" He shouted. His roar was like a nuke in a fantasy setting.

" _Shh_ _t_ snapped a husky voice behind him. "You trying to wake the whole school?"

"I'm sure the whole school were already awake from all that yapping out there, Hes." Chaddick said in frustration.

"So what's _making_ that noise?"

"I think they're foxes." Chaddick replied. His hands resting on the glass sill. "Who would have thought they could be so obnoxious."

" _Foxes?_ " said a topless Hester. Her figure edged beside him. She too appeared to have been running laps. "Ugh, who cares. Don't let them bother us, Chad."

Chaddick shook his head, eyeing the forest as more foxy yips bellowed. He reached over and grabbed a bow and an arrow, pulled, and fired. The arrow whist through the air and into the blue forest.

" _Really?"_ Hester said, clicking her tongue.

Chaddick flung the bow after it.

"Okay, _stop!_ " Hester chuckled, taking hold of his arms. She smiled ear to ear at Chaddick's ridiculousness.

Hester wrapped her arms around Chaddick's neck, drawing his attention back to her. Her breast press against his bare well crafted chest.

"Let's just get back to _our_ time, 'kay?" She whispered seductively. Her narrow lips pale from lack of black lipstick.

She gently pulled him in for a longing kiss. As the two waltz away, lips locked, Hester manage to grab the silk curtains and shut it over their window. Soon after, the two forbidden hypocrites were doing more than kissing.

* * *

Everything stopped in the blue forest. The passionate night turned to unsteady panting. Sophie resisted the urge to move as she laid on her back.

"Please, get it out Teddy." Sophie hiccuped in pain. Tears streaming over her furry cheeks.

"Stay still." Tedros replied softly.

A mysterious arrow stood erected from Sophie's stomach. Tedros trying to get a grip with his fangs to pull out the mini spear but getting a good hold was tougher as a fox.

Agatha peered from Sophie's mane. She watched as Tedros continued and failed again to free Sophie from the arrow that gave her friend so much pain.

Almost as quick as the arrow, like a lightening clasp, a flinging bow swung down hitting the butt of the arrow, hammering it in even further.

Sophie screamed as the arrow had now fully impaled her completely through her body. Tedros worried he will get in trouble for this, fled the scene. He did not want anything to do with this anymore. Sophie pleaded for her prince to return but he vanished into the woods. Desperate for assistance, she called out to her only friend.

"Agatha, help!" Sophie cried. " _Please_ , Agatha! I'm _sorry._ " She twist and turned for her friend, but she wasn't there. " _Agatha?_ "

Agatha the roach stuck her head out of the furry nape. They were speeding away into the School for Good. She looked down at the navy blue fox she was riding. She gave Tedros a good gentle nozzle; adorable little hearts bubbling over her head. Tedros was her prince now.

She kick his back with her roachy legs.

"AW!"

"Faster!"

" _What the hell!?_ "

* * *

The following morning was not what you would expect. Once Tedros and Agatha returned to their normal human selves, it left them in a very awkward predicament—but we won't get into that.

Sophie wandered the school with a patch around her mid-section, unable to sit well or even eat properly. Not to mention a little dazed after falling straight from Agatha's bedroom window the same night. Although angry after said turn of events, she still had time to spread the rumor that Hester and Anadil were secret lovers.

Upset at first, Hester figured the stupid lie was better than everyone knowing she was actually sleeping around with Chaddick. There's a no-no policy regarding Evers and Nevers being in an intimate relationship together. Why do you think the whole school wanted to kill Sophie?

At the meantime, Hester decided to go by the name "Ester" until this whole thing blew over.

Anadil on the other hand was furious. She cursed out everyone who brought it up and swears to kill who ever started such a rumor. Though she suspected Dot had something to do with it.

Sophie sipped her tea in silence, watching Anadil creating a scene before walking away to give her rats a bath.

Meanwhile, Tedros and Agatha entered the Clearing with their lunch; holding hands, fingers locked. Sophie spat her tea out. The whole school stared at the newly form couple in utter shock.

"How did Tedros and Agatha get together?" wailed Beatrix.

Again, we won't get into that. All they knew was Agatha and Tedros were in love. And Agatha made sure Tedros drank plenty of water this time.

* * *

In the School Master's tower, the Storian etched another ending of its latest novel. The School Master took it and read the title:

 _Two Foxes and a Roach._

He tossed it aside along with the others. This was all the Storian was pumping out lately. Last night it was _The Tale of Hester and Chaddick:_ _Book #_ _34_ and now this. The largest pile of books have been written in just under this first year alone; all of which are eroticas. The School Master watched as the Storian immediately began anew.

 _The Sexy Tale of Anadil and her Three Rat_ _s_.

He let out a depressing sigh. A tear slither from his eyes behind his mask. The School Master stood in scribbling silence . . . forever a virgin.

* * *

 **Well that's all for now. If you're interested in more of these kind of stories, let me know in the review section. If I'm feeling on the creative humor side, I just may start a new chapter or two. Until then, I hope you had a wail of a time. Thanks.**

 **The School for Good and Evil and its characters are the property of Soman Chainani. This fan-fiction is written under fair-use.**


	2. CH 2 - A Girl's Fever

**Welcome back to my first** ** _School for Good and Evil_** **fan fiction. This here was different and challenging to write due to the fact it was written without any layout like the first chapter. This is not meant to offend or upset people. Its purely for comedic purposes and I advise anyone to sit back and have a good laugh. Please enjoy.**

 **..: Two Foxes and a Roach :..**

Zipping through the forest, a navy blue fox sprinted across the dense trees as a roach latched on for dear life. Tedros the Fox had planned to meet with Sophie in the woods so the two could confess their love, but something had become amiss.

He soon splashed from the brushes, landing with a skid in the clearing, greeted by an open sky. He reared on his hind legs while Agatha the roach waved her cowboy hat.

"Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!" The roach chirped.

The moon illuminated a monolithic castle made of crystal; its towers aiming up towards the stars above. Beautifully molded for any princess's fairy tale.

The School for Good.

There was another dirtier castle across for Evil, but eh . . .

Agatha raised her face to the sky as the moist air collected over her. What should be a cold night, she felt warmth as Tedros' aroma filled her with comfort and security.

She tugged on his fur and he steered toward the right. Then the left. Soon the navy blue fox, with Agatha the roach riding in his furry nape, trotted up the steps to the School for Good. The palace walls gleamed from the moon light. Ghostly blue brighten the hallways just enough to lead them to a classroom left unlocked.

Agatha recognized the place. It was Professor Dovey's class; haunting during the dead of night and eerily silent until—

"Who are you?" Tedros mumbled deeply. He didn't seem pleased with her presence. "I said _who are you_?" His voice higher with frustration.

"AGATHA!" Shouted an angry Sophie, her voice rang from the Blue Brooks and penetrated the castle walls. Several glass trinkets on the shelves rattled.

"I'm—I'm Agatha . . ." The roach whispered loud enough for Tedros to hear. His pointy ears perked. Agatha felt the fox's muscles tense.

" _Agatha_?" he mumbled rather acidly. "And what were _you_ doing in the woods?" Tedros growled, his voice grew venomous. His fur gently stood on end around the roach, like teeth of a carnivorous fly-trap closing in on her.

"I was helping Sophie." Agatha admitted. She went over the plan she and her dilapidated friend concocted for the meet-up as Tedros listened patiently, pacing slowly around the class. "She needed me to feed her lines she could recite to you."

"So . . . those words _didn_ ' _t_ come from Sophie's heart?" Tedros said. His head drooped in a depressing state.

"I'm afraid so . . ." Agatha responded, feeling the lump in her throat swell. How could she have done this? Why did she get herself to participate in her friend's charade? She pet the poor fox. "I'm sorry . . ."

It was strange. Just this morning, she hated this guy. Hated him so much, she contemplated numerous acts of violence towards him. Sophie's kiss were to take the two girls back to Gavaldon, leaving Tedros to sorrow alone. Agatha was looking forward to it. She wanted to laugh maniacally in his face as they floated away and vanish into thin air. Assuming if they floated away and vanished, that is. End spoiler.

That all changed somehow. It was that moment when Tedros called _her_ name, rather than Sophie's. A moment that made her felt . . . _wanted_. She daydreamed of hurting him but was it really hurting? Perhaps, deep down, Agatha liked the guy. Maybe even . . . love him.

Or her eagerness to harm him could be a sadistic fetish she has over Tedros.

 _I wonder if Tedros is a masochist_. Agatha thought.

The world may never know.

The two stood in silence, allowing Tedros to take everything in. He fiddled with a burlap sack sitting in the corner of the class with his paws. A blue neatly folded shirt peaked from the opening.

"Did you—did you instruct Sophie to—"

"Eh, no . . . that was all Sophie." The roach knew exactly what he meant. Annoyed her friend would go to such lengths.

 _Sophie will pay_.

"Oh," Tedros blushed. "Well, thank you for being honest with me . . . uh—"

"Agatha!" She reminded the prince.

"Right, _Agatha_." The pretty fox padded his paws on the floor awkwardly. "Mind if I escort you back to your room?"

Agatha's heart skipped a beat. "N—no, not at all. Please."

The fox pressed open the door and stealthily snaked through the halls and to the Purity Tower. All seemed well as they head up the steps until they reached the first landing.

The fox and roach began to feel strange.

The two collapsed, falling from their sudden weight. Agatha barely tapped her right knee on the marble floor, ringing a hollow thud throughout the hall. They clambered to their feet to find they where both no longer fox or roach, but bare human beings. One, a handsome blond lad with magnificent packs and perfect skin; the other, a pale girl, short and narrow with an inky black bob hair. The two looked at one another and felt like Adam and Eve. The blood burned to their faces.

"Hurry!" Tedros whispered harshly, taking hold of the girl's hand. With Agatha limping behind, they hasted up the remaining steps, praying no one—especially the fairy guards—would spot them. They could only hear the sounds of their moist naked feet padding across the marble floors. They desperately scanned the corners; both low and above just to be sure until the two arrived near the top of the tower.

"Over there!" The girl wheezed, pointing at a dark wooden door with cruel words engrave on it.

Tedros lifted Agatha in his arms and bolted ahead so blindly, they flew shoulders first through door 51. A loud crash roared on impacted before barricading themselves in. The two listened for only a moment. The echo receded and the halls went quiet again. With their back pressed against the door, they keeled over for some heavy breather.

That moment of recovery ended when the prince cleared his wind-pipe with a cough. Agatha jolted up and crossed her knees. She covered most of her delicate regions with her arms and hands. Tedros took notice and too hid himself.

The two brighten like tomatoes.

"We should get dressed." Agatha mumbled bashfully.

"Y—yeah . . ." Tedros meekly responded.

They focused their view elsewhere as best they could but found it difficult to stop seeing one another from the blurry corners of their eyes.

Agatha backed away, still facing the handsome boy so she wouldn't expose her rump to him. She collided with the wardrobe behind her and quickly reached her flailing hand blindly for the knob.

"I'll just dress in here." She said, quickly darting in.

"Y—yeah . . ." Tedros again responded.

The wardrobe snapped shut and sounds of more bumping and shaking occurred.

While Agatha clumsily dressed in pitch black, Tedros took a blanket from the bed and covered himself. He had left his clothes in Professor Dovey's class; it slipped his mind once he decided to be chivalrous.

He examined the girl's domain. From where he took the blanket stood one disheveled bed that Agatha clearly slept in, two mattresses set up like a fort in one corner, a desk and shelf in the opposite corner and a wobbling wardrobe near the entrance.

To Tedros' surprise, it appeared Agatha was the only one occupying the dorm. Normally, three students were assigned to share a room, yet Agatha had it to herself. Tedros didn't think about her roommates when he barged it. But she had none.

Curiosity led the naked prince toward the desk, riddled with mass of papers. They weren't school work, Tedros noticed. They were stories—written by Agatha.

Was this legal? Shouldn't the Storian be the only thing to write tales? Tedros got a slight headache for thinking too deep.

The prince leaned forward and poked through some of her writings, reading off titles such as: _Tedros_ ' _High School_ , _One Tedros Direction_ , _Gossip Tedros_ , _Pretty Little Tedros_ , _iTedros_ , _Tedros_ - _Twilight_ , and _Fifty Shades of Tedros_.

The prince snorted.

For a girl whom he thought hated his guts, she sure was obsessed.

The handle on the wardrobe clanked and the door creaked opened. Tedros stepped away from the desk, tightening the blanket over him. Agatha's bare foot stepped out, soon followed by pale lanky legs with one knee bruising. Peaking from the edge of the door, Agatha exited with only an over-sized blouse that reach the center of her thighs.

Tedros gulped.

 _Was she even wearing_ . . .?

Agatha looked so timid and secluded. Her oily black hair draped over one of her eyes. She parsed her lips, thinking of something to say but found nothing to break the ice. That's when she noticed Tedros was hiding in her favorite blanket.

"Are you dressed . . . or—?"

"I left my clothes in the class!" Tedros blurted, ashamed to admit his forgetfulness.

Agatha's eyes darted away, holding back her smile. "I don't have anything you could wear—unless you want to run around the school in drag?"

"No, no . . ." Tedros smirked.

The two stood in silence. No tension, no animosity, no anything. At least nothing negative.

Agatha looked up at the prince and realized he was staring back at her. Her heart fluttered.

" _What_?" She asked, the smile escaped.

"It's just . . ." Tedros shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "I mean how was it you were able to come up with convincing words?"

"What are you talking about?"

"In the woods," Tedros reminded her. "Helping Sophie."

" _Oh_ , well I figure I'd—" Agatha stopped. She really had no idea. It was all unscripted and off the cuff.

"Unless those words _did_ come from the heart," Tedros said, " _Your_ heart."

Speaking of hearts, Agatha's sank.

"What makes you say that?" She barked in defense.

"You fed them to Sophie, right?" Tedros asked.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean _I_ meant it."

"It did come from you—?"

"But not like _that_!"

"C'mon—"

"No! _You're_ delirious! Just because I said them, doesn't mean I like you?"

"Then where did you get them from?"

"From those stupid fairy tales you people obsess over!"

 _Obsess_.

Tedros glanced over the desk and back just in time to witness Agatha's reaction. Her face was in cold shock. Her eyes quickly glossed with tears.

"Please leave." She asked meekly. Her lips trembled.

"Agatha—"

"No!"

She looked up at him, eyes piercing with sorrow. Tedros was a head taller than she was, yet she felt more dominating. She wanted him to yield—but he wouldn't.

To her surprise, the prince placed the palm of his hand over her burning cheek. His thumb gently wiping away her tears.

"AGATHA!" came Sophie's deranged roar from the woods.

The two jumped.

The blanket slipped from Tedros shoulders. He manage to catch it before it fell pass his waist. His upper body was open to the world and to Agatha it appeared. He felt a tinge of awkwardness.

Agatha glowed red.

"W—why do you care?" She finally said.

"Care for what?"

"About what I said—or if I meant it?"

Only the low howling wind responded to that.

"Honestly, I don't know."

Tedros and Agatha jumped into each other, their faces mended. Lips locked, slapping and lathering, madly salivating every moment of it. Thick drool gooped and sprayed on the floor, walls, and even ceiling—because girls love romance stories of couples who refuse to admit they love each other arguing before a spontaneous kissing session pops out of nowhere without buildup . . . nah, I'm just kidding. Let's start that over.

"W—why do you care?" She finally said.

"Care for what?"

"About what I said—or if I meant it?"

Only the low howling wind responded to that.

"Honestly, I don't—"

"Wait!" Agatha perked. "What happened?"

"Uh . . ." Tedros blanked out, unsure what she meant.

"Huh. _Deja_ - _vu_ . . ."

* * *

The two Evers sat beside each other, skimming off some of the stories Agatha has written. She was hesitate at first, but she eventually caved. Desperate to share her art and quite possibly her feelings.

Tedros was given the privilege to read at least one of them.

Agatha handed him one page from an upcoming story she had thought of, filled with scribbles and ink checks on the corners of the page.

Tedros took it.

"So what do you think _Quests for Glory_ is going be like?" Agatha asked.

"Oh . . . _that_." Tedros grimaced. "I dunno. All I'll say is I have this _awful_ feeling the author will find a way to add real world politics in it. If that happens, then I'm afraid it's going to suck."

Agatha nodded. "Yeah, I stopped following him on Twitter because of his anti-white, anti-male comments."

Her words left them in long silence.

"Chaddick's gonna die in book four, isn't he?" Tedros blurted out.

"No, no . . ." Agatha took his hand. "He'll do just fine." Yet deep down, she wasn't sure either.

"Well, whatever it may be, I'm sure your tales far exceeds that." Tedros said, holding up the page. He began to skim.

The literature looked to have been written by a child—the handwriting was so atrocious, Tedros could feel his eyes ready to sink in, worried if he continued on, he'll end up dangerously emaciated.

He glanced at Agatha and wish he hadn't. She looked so happy. Her eyes gleamed like shiny marbles. Eagerly awaiting what he thought of her work.

Tedros returned to the story and bit his lip like a pregnant woman chewing on a bag of humans.

' _The Quests for Glory begins at the base of your friend_ ' _s penis_ —'

 _LOLWUT_!?

Agatha took hold of Tedros face and locked lips with his.

"W—what the hell? I'm trying to read!" Tedros blurted.

Agatha eyes grew hungry.

"It was . . . getting good . . ." Tedros barely mumbled.

Tedros pressed forward his kiss to her lips. A tad chapped but soft enough for comfort. Their foreheads touched as the two laid over the bed, Agatha on top. The page slipped from Tedros fingers as the wind took it from him and delivered it through the open window. Neither of whom cared for it was a shitty story.

Agatha trained for this moment. She practiced her kissing with nectarines, her _other_ kissing technique on bananas, and hone her caressing talents with a pair of kumquats. Don't think too far into this, kids.

Agatha lifted her over-sized shirt and indeed, she was not wearing _that_. The blanket opened from Tedros torso and other unmentionables. The cool breeze gave the two stark naked lovers goosebumps.

Agatha dipped forward and sucked into Tedros' clavicle, drawing away with a wet smooch.

"What the hell is a clavicle?" Tedros whispered.

"Read a dictionary, dumb ass." The pale girl respond without looking up. She continued to peck kisses over the tender body of her new boy toy. She mingled further down the prince's stomach, then below his naval, each new smooch wetter than the last. She looked up at the prince with longing eyes, grazing her fingernails just above the surface of his brilliant packs, raking the peach fuzz on his delectable tummy. Goosebumps swelled over Tedros, leaving him compelled by Agatha's unproven talents.

Agatha continued, taking in the very thing she craved for that really shouldn't be in your mouth . . . dot dot dot.

" _Oh_!" Tedros gasped.

Agatha smiled, brushing her hair away from her eyes. "You liked that, huh?" She said on cue.

"Huh? Oh no, well, I meant the clavicle is actually the scientific term for collarbone." He said, holding up a small reader's digest on the very subject.

Agatha yanked the book from Tedros' hands and chucked it out the window across from her.

"AGATHA!" Screeched a derange Sophie. The mad rabies infested pink fox leaped in through the open window. Mid-flight, the spine of the book sludged Sophie's snout with great strength that the furry thing flung back out, falling from who-knows how many stories it is from Agatha's room

"What was that?" Tedros began, but she didn't answer. Instead she towered over him, giving her prince a new found smile; one he never seen before.

* * *

In the hallways of the main floor, walked a handsome lad accompanying his shorter female companion from behind with his arms wrapped around her shoulders, his chin resting on the top of her head. Everything was peaceful as they neared the exit of the School for Good.

"You didn't have to walk me out, y'know." The girl said rather cheeky but flattered.

"Better me than the fairies." He replied.

The girl looked up and met his gray eyes. She blushed more than she wanted to, so she fell back on him, forcing the boy to bare her weight.

"Hes!" Chaddick chuckled.

"Am I _too_ heavy?" Hester beamed.

The two waddled ahead outside. The cool night was impeccable, even for someone like Hester, who hated anything beautiful, gleamy, and cute.

There was _one_ exception however.

"Alright, this is as far as I go," said the boy. "Don't be a stranger, kid."

Hester walked out of his grasps but couldn't help stop in place to look back. He stood there, tall, proud, and immaculate. Despite there stark differences. She was destine to be evil, and he was to be good. Yet somehow, some way, the two managed.

What they say about these kinds of romances couldn't be true. Hester knew in the back of her mind their relationship was nothing like Sophie and Tedros. Their relationship couldn't be a great risk to the school as Sophie's.

Sophie had to trick her prince. Tedros was a borderline dumb ass.

These two on the other hand, they just . . . build up from the early days of the school year. No tricks, no magic, no bribes, not one deception. Their's was legitimate.

But what if the rules still applied.

"I love you." Hester whispered. She almost choke up. Not once has she ever said those words to him as she watched as Chaddick straighten up, almost iconic.

"I love you too."

Hester's heart drummed painfully in her chest. Then she lost it. Her eyes weld up with tears.

 _Dammit_. _Why_?

Chaddick didn't mind. He braced her tightly and she accepted gracefully. She didn't want to let go ever again.

Of course the rules didn't apply to them. They've kissed hundreds of times and nothing drastic ever happened. All that was truly missing . . . was a fandom to support them.

 _Maybe one more_ , _just to be sure_.

* * *

Tedros gently dropped over Agatha's body with his face buried in the pillow beside her head. Both breathing profusely after one hell of a ride. Their hair and body were drenched with sweat. Every moment what something to be admired. For Agatha, even the burning first time pain was soothing.

 _Maybe I_ ' _m the masochist in this relationship_.

They cleaned themselves in silence . . . an awkward silence.

Tedros worried perhaps she didn't enjoy it, however Agatha was already scheduling their next assignation the following night. Or perhaps during lunch . . . maybe breakfast.

"So how was it?" Tedros asked, hoping to get the truth out right away for his own sake.

"It was nice." She replied, patting her legs dry.

Tedros felt relieved but instantly knew: _nice_ wasn't good enough. _NEVER_!

"What can I do to make it better?" He continued.

"I dunno . . ." Agatha mumbled. "Drink more water!"

" _Huh_?"

Agatha turned to the naked prince, no longer phased by his nudity. "Well, your . . . _semen_ isn't as fluid as I hoped."

"Please tell me we're talking about fisherman." Said the prince's, his stubborn face burned red. That soon dropped once Agatha batted her eyes.

 _Damn cutey_.

"Okay, I'll—"

"Also try taking some Lecithin Granules and L-Arginine" She continued on excitedly. "It increases your sperm count by a lot."

This left Tedros in awe.

"How do you _know_ all this?"

The two stood quiet.

"Cause . . ."

" _Cause_?"

"Hester told me Chaddick takes them."

Now an even longer silence bridge them apart.

"Okay—now how does _Hester_ know what _Chaddick_ takes?"

"I think they smoke pot together or something." Agatha said.

"Alright, let's just end the chapter here!"

"NO!" Agatha blurted, trotting over to Tedros and held his hands. "I wanted to ask for one favor."

"Uh . . . sure." said Tedros. "Anything."

* * *

The following morning was exactly as anyone would expect.

Sophie wondered around with some rather severe boo-boos, which many have ask her about.

"Oh, just some cosmetic errors." She explained.

Meanwhile, Hester and Anadil had to endure some funny talk floating around the school about the two. Something about being lesbians. The albino girl charged at the only person she believed started the rumor.

"It was you, wasn't it?" Anadil demanded, slamming her hands on the table.

Dot nearly choked on her chocolate cake and dashed away in confusion.

"I swear, I didn't tell anyone your secret!" Dot cried. That secret of course involved rats.

Hester on the other hand paid no mind and was more so concerned that she may have missed her period.

But oh so cray-cray the students be damn, the School for Good and Evil was about to get a load out of this. Even its alumni would be shocked if they saw what was just about to happen . . . Tink sucks.

"You ready?" Tedros asked Agatha. The two stood by, just out of sight of their fellow students.

She could only nod. Deep down, Agatha was a wreck, worried if this would be a bad idea. Tedros dating her could very well be received far worse than if he went with Sophie? She wasn't exactly the most liked individual in the School for Good.

"The only problem I have on my shoulder is how am I suppose to explain the whole Sophie situation to people?" Tedros said. This took Agatha's attention away from her own problems, realizing this is something they both had to do together.

"Just tell them you came to your senses and decided to break it off."

"And how do I tell that to Sophie?"

Agatha looked ahead. Sophie was sitting at the far corner on the clearing, sipping away at her tea. She appeared to have had a bad night. "Just let her down easy."

"Can't! I have to be as cold-blooded as possible." Tedros said.

Agatha giggle at the thought of having a tyrant for a boyfriend, but deep down, she knew he was harmless as a twink.

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I was the one who made Sophie bleed." Agatha chimed.

"I knew you shot that arrow at her." Tedros smiled.

"What? No!"

"I'm joking." Tedros took her hand.

Her cheeks turned a soft pink.

"It's time to fulfill that favor."

With their hands locked, the two walked out to the bright open clearing, letting all to witness their new found love.

* * *

 **Now I have a spare chapter sitting around (unfinished) involving Hester and Chaddick, but I dunno if I wanna sorta kinda feel like it doing it. Uhhnn . . .**

 **The School for Good and Evil and its characters are the property of Soman Chainani. This fan-fiction is written under fair-use.**


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